186. Do You Need a Routine? | No Stupid Questions

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Introduction and Question from Perfect Peter

  • Question from Mike's brother Peter (neurosurgeon): How important is routine in life?
  • Asks when routine is helpful vs harmful
  • Notes tension between routine providing goal attainment vs feeling overly regimented
  • Seeks advice on incorporating routine into life

Firm Routines Loosely Held Concept

  • Mike introduces concept of "firm opinions loosely held" applied to routines
  • Example: Friend has Friday 2pm weekly debrief routine with friends
    • Productive element and friendship signaling
    • Flexible enough to skip if on plane without stress
  • Routines as "quasi non-negotiable" approaches to ensure important things happen

Habits vs Routines - The Neuroscience

  • Habits studied more than routines in psychology
  • Habits = brain on autopilot (Colin Camer, Caltech: "neural autopilot")
  • Separate brain system for habits vs conscious decisions
  • Continuum from pure habits → routines → plans based on advance planning
  • Human brain efficiency: putting things on autopilot frees cognitive bandwidth
  • People making every decision reactively live inefficiently

Angela's Personal Routines

  • Weekly friend calls: Sue (Saturdays), Michelle (Sundays), Shani (Wednesdays)
  • Combines talking and jogging
  • 10+ year routine that transformed friendships
  • Admits not naturally thoughtful (forgets birthdays) but routine preserved/enriched relationships

Habit Stacking/Piggybacking

  • Concept from Katie Milkman and James Clear (Atomic Habits)
  • Angela's examples:
    • Gynecologist advice: Stack Kegel exercises with TV watching
    • Physical therapy during toothbrushing (lunges, squats)
  • Mike's example: Wall sits during toothbrushing (inconsistent execution)
  • Requires existing routine to "stack" new behavior onto

Habit Formation Requirements

  • Habits require repetition AND reward
  • Behaviors migrate from "goal system" to "habit system" when consistently rewarded
  • Prediction error important (Colin Camer): difference between expected vs actual reward
  • Pain can prevent routine becoming full habit (wall sits example)

Year-Long Planning Structure

  • Jesse Itzler's system: Year-defining event + 6 mini-adventures
  • Mike's examples:
    • 2022: Kilimanjaro hike
    • 2023: Marathon completion
    • Mini-adventures: Tennis tournaments, surfing trips
  • Daily practice: 365 moments of awe (30-second minimum)

Morning Routines - The Cass Sunstein Exception

  • Tony Robbins routine: 3 minutes each of breathing, gratitude, prayer, prioritization
  • Most productive people have morning routines
  • Exception: Cass Sunstein (50+ book author)
    • No structured routine: woken by dogs, back to bed, coffee, donut
    • Intrinsically driven to write, doesn't need external supports
  • Morning routines as "tabula rasa" - fewer competing demands

Creativity and Order Connection

  • Mason Curry's "Daily Rituals: How Artists Work"
  • David Brooks: Order enables creativity and exploration
  • Children, communities, and creatives all need predictable foundation
  • Challenges stereotype of chaotic artistic lifestyle
  • "Evicted" book example: Housing instability disrupts child development

Environmental Predictability and Cognitive Development

  • Recent research: Predictable environments essential for cognitive control development
  • Across species finding: orderly world needed for brain's "CEO" function
  • Examples: Regular breakfast times, consistent adult behavior
  • Parenting consistency correlates with child health, happiness, ethics
  • Theory: Predictable environment incentivizes planning vs impulsive reactions

Flexibility vs Routine Trade-offs

  • Flexibility as cost of routine/habit
  • Brain conservative about autopilot behaviors
  • Colin Camer: Prediction error drives habit formation
  • Junk food example: Low prediction error makes habits sticky
  • Study with Crisis Text Line volunteers:
    • Control: "Some hours weekly" to reach 200 hours/year
    • Rigid: 4 hours every week
    • Flexible: 8 hours every 2 weeks
    • Both goal conditions increased volunteering 8%
    • Flexible condition showed more enduring benefits

Self vs Other Decision-Making

  • Sydney Scott & Eleanor Williams (WashU) study
  • People want flexibility for themselves but recommend structure for others
  • When thinking about others: use head/logic
  • When thinking about self: use gut/feelings
  • Life hack: Plan own routines as if planning for someone else

Closing Advice

  • Routines are beneficial with built-in flexibility
  • "Strong routines loosely held" approach
  • Use third-party perspective for routine decisions
  • Routines breed intentionality in life